Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Feb 24, 2015 23:32:55 GMT -4
(This is written in the mind of a drunken form of Briana. Meaning that trolls will make sense, as well as feelings but not the anger. So if Bri ever lost her motivation to be angry and made a lot of typos. Slurred writing.)
Journal Entry 30,
OK, I figurd out wot I ment... I mant flished for two jade bluds. Both handsum and smart in theri own ways... But I doubl they'l let me be flushed fur both of thim at oce. One's missin... but not dead.
Anothre sees potential in sometin that doesn't. I cnat decide... if I go wit one, fels liek somethin's missgn. Hepl me.
-Briana Ceresk
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Feb 24, 2015 23:37:02 GMT -4
(Visits to the Tavern get more frequent, Briana might have a problem.)
Journal Entry 31,
Just got back from a bar fight, almost knocked Lucian out cold for hurting Kur...
Still feel like there's something missing but I don't know what. What are the words that I'm looking for...
I'll be right back, going to make yet another trip to the library; maybe they have something that can help me figure out what is going on with my stupid thinkpan.
-Briana Ceresk
Books and when their due for a reminder:
-Quadrants for Fools (March 2, 2015) -Love and it's Flaws (March 2, 2015) -Polyamory or Polygamous (March 2, 2015)
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Feb 24, 2015 23:40:21 GMT -4
Journal Entry 32,
Hand's still trying to recover. I really need to keep my anger in check, but I fail at this. I know Kur has been trying so hard to keep me from loosing my way but it's hard to see clearly when so much could set me off.
And speaking of frustrations, I did some research on my little problem. Apparently it's not too common but not rare for people to fall for more than one person quadrant wise. Most end up choosing one simply to not complicate things or simply because they don't want to take the chance of ruining the quadrant they already have. Communication is key.. something that I really need to work on. Maybe I should work on that a bit more...
-Briana Ceresk
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Feb 24, 2015 23:48:51 GMT -4
Journal Entry 33,
Dealing with the whole headache thing... it's frustrating. Seems like the only way to get rid of it is go back to the Tavern and drink my heart out, or deal with the pounding similar to that of when I get confused or frustrated. But everything seems so blurry... I can't remember much of what happened the past two nights and I don't know if I should.
It worries me, but really; does it matter much? I've been left to rot away, my own coming back in the form of rage. I can't calm down as easily as I used to, someone please hold me back before I end up doing something I would regret.
Stars, hide your fires; do not let light fall on my dark side, I do not wish for anyone to see what I used to be. Or better yet, hide me from others' prying eyes; they do not wish upon themselves a monster in the shell of a troll body.
Let me hide away and let the world not see what used to be me, I am trying to change; trying so hard to better myself for the sake of others' safety, but I keep messing up. I'm stuck between what I used to be and what I strive to become.
A monster and a decent troll that could be respected and understood. That's all I want out of my own self. As for others, I want my moirail back. I tire of worrying, it drains me of energy and I do not wish to think of the worst things that could happen to him. And yet, why do I catch myself thinking these things?
Goddess, please; aid me in this time of confusion and woe, for I can not make heads or tails of anything anymore. Let me just be a messenger of your word and that is all. Erase the memories that I dread the most. I want to forget what I used to be, distance myself from the beast that still responds to my name.
-Briana Ceresk Guardian(?) of Nouva
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Feb 24, 2015 23:52:32 GMT -4
Journal Entry 34,
Demona needs to step the f--k off. Seriously. He lent me a map and said for me to see what was there. Douche. He was once one of his quadrants, doesn't he have any concern of what happens to him?
Too much confusion and conflicting feelings, really. Needed more tea, so naturally; I fetched more from the market. The sweeter the ingredients the better for me. Maybe I should look up how to make them as well, save myself the trouble and time.
But for now, I will begin my construction on my Forge. I will not let Nouva die as long as I am still able to be revived and my spirit can return to another body, stronger than the last.
I will not let Nouva fall.
Vergil, my dearest moirail; stay safe for a little while longer. We must keep Nouva from falling once more for everyone.
-Briana Ceresk Guardian of Nouva
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on May 4, 2015 20:55:52 GMT -4
Journal Entry 35,
Vergil's back, and I broke the news of Kureve to him; Zenith has been a helping hand as well and I don't know whether he's truly okay or just saying it to keep me from badgering him. I fear another break in the diamond, but I pray to Aelarios that it's just my worry acting up.
-Briana Ceresk
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on May 6, 2015 19:13:54 GMT -4
Journal Entry 36,
I feel worthless. I had an encounter with one whom raised me, I heard them. And I swear that I blacked out, but I felt them as well. Their fangs, the claws... no remorse, no actual care anymore. Just fury. What have I done to deserve this. I've asked Aelarios if she could keep it from respawning but sadly, it has to live. I haven't really talked to Vergil or Kureve about it since I fear they would only tell me to stay away from it, but the thing is; I can't. I keep blacking out and when I come to my senses it is near me. I can't fight it off.
I've tried to do my research in secret, about the inner workings of one's think pan.. but I have hit dead ends about recurrent black outs. I know that computers track what you search up so I didn't look anything up on it yet... I'm at least smart enough to avoid that.
-Briana Ceresk
(Guardian of Nouva? Or broken?)
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on May 24, 2015 17:28:22 GMT -4
Journal Entry 37,
One of the two that support me is now gone... Kureve Arcana. He's now gone. I'm still trying to process this information, but he is. I just can't wrap my think pan around it. I need to chat with Vergil eventually about this, it's driving me batty... Or I could chat with Has'n about the matters as well, he's kind to me as well; despite my foul mouthed responses... I just loathe having to admit that I have to rely on others for support, I feel weak; meek and helpless. I'd rather do things myself and see them turn out wrong so I can keep trying... But I can't get things right...
Or I could pay a visit to the haunted mansion where the ghost child lay dormant, she's also kind to talk to; almost as calming as talking to Vergil or Has'n... she listens. I don't have that much words to convey this emptiness again, but I can at least write everything down so I don't drive myself mad. I just pray that my moirail doesn't find this damned thing, I'm supposed to be strong both mentally and physically and just one I am lacking in.
-Briana Ceresk
|
|